This week, we are ensuring that we show respect online by communicating kindly and responsibly. This will help us to have a better understanding of the consequences of not doing this.
Below is a useful tool to help you check that you are being responsible and kind:
Use the email below and the checklist above to edit what Max is trying to communicate.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? Why did you not write me?
Please can you get me a present, probably a video game please.
Thanks
From,
Nephew Max
why didn't you write to me still sounds a bit demanding
DeleteYour comment is appropriate because you made the language polite
DeleteDear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? Why don't you write to me?
I would like a video game for my birthday.
have a good day.
From Max
We have changed "how are you" to lower case letters. We have checked spellings and corrected them. lastly, we made a sentence politer and said who it is from.
DeleteDear uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? I would like it if you wrote to me
please may have a video game for my birthday
From
Max
This is better than the first message because it sounds polite and doesn't demand for a video game, instead he asked for one instead.
DeleteYou have missed an I on the last line
Delete"please may i have a video game for my birthday" sounds like your forcing him to get you a game
DeleteDear uncle Joe,
DeleteHow are you? I would like you to write back if you can please.
Please may I have a video game for my birthday.
From
Max
Dear Uncle Joe
ReplyDelete,
How are you? Why don't you write to me?
If you are well could you possibly send me a video game for my birthday
from your favourite nephew,
Max
Dear uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteThanks
How are you? Why don't you write to me?
Please could get me a video game for my birthday.
Thanks.
From,
Your Nephew Max
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWe used less capitals to make Max sound less angry and we also used more polite language such as please thanks and not use shouty language
DeleteDear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? Why haven't you wrote to me?
Can you please consider sending me a video game for my birthday?
From Max
Dear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? Why didn't you write to me?
Can you please send me a video game for my birthday.
from,
Max
It changed because we made it more polite and we didn't hide the name.
ReplyDeleteDear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? Why didn't you write to me?
Can you please send me a video game for my birthday.
I hope I get to see you soon.
from,
Max
Dear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeletehow are you?why did you not reply back to me
my birthday is coming up and i was wondering if you could maybe get me a video game
from
Max
Dear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? Why didn't you write to me?
Can you please send me a video game for my birthday.
I hope I get to see you soon.
from,
Max
Dear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? You have not written to me for a while.
Please can you buy me a video game for my birthday.
Thanks see you soon
From,
Max
We have changed email by changing the language and by putting the name at the end.
ReplyDeleteExt:
ReplyDeleteWe made it more respectful ,changed the incorrect spellings and said who it was from.This made it look like Max didn't rush his email.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteext.
ReplyDeletewe made the letter respectful and changed the punctuation and spellings and put who it was from for the and asked for the video game in a polite way
Dear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? why don't you write to me?
Please send me a present preferably a video game for my birthday. Thank you
LOVE from your nephew Max.
ext.
ReplyDeletewe made the letter respectful and changed the punctuation and spellings and put who it was from for the and asked for the video game in a polite way
Dear Uncle Joe,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? you have not written in a while.
if it is possibly can you send me a video game for my birthday? please
i hope i see you soon
from your nephew Max
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear uncle Joe,
ReplyDeletehow are you? could you write to me?
can you get me a video game for my birthday please
From your nephew Max
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear uncle Joe
ReplyDeleteHow are you? You haven't written to me in a while.
Its my birthday soon, please can I have a videogame please. Maybe world of warcraft.
love from,
Max.
Its changed because we have used manners and asked politely for the game. we used nice words like love. How are you is not in capitals and we used his name instead of capitals.
ReplyDelete